Married With Children Quotes

Pretty women make us buy beer. Ugly women make us drink beer.

Al Bundy
character in the series "Married... with Children"

I'm jealous of every man not married to you.

Al Bundy

Sorry, Peg, I didn't hear you. I was thinking of killing myself.

Al Bundy

I wish the world was a fly and I'm a giant rolled up newspaper.

Al Bundy

Peg, you can stab me with knives, you can beat me with clubs, you can make me open my eyes when we're having sex but there's no way on earth you can make me get a second job.

Al Bundy

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